Deary me! The world suddenly exploded, and I was so worried! I was in a strange new world that was so scary! This kingdom of Fynn was taken over by an evil Emperor, but then some warriors defeated him...twice! So then they were without a ruler. Or rather, their true ruler, Queen Hilda, was intimidated into stepping down. And so now, they elected me, a newcomer, as their new queen! One summon from Odin and they were insisting I take the throne! What beautiful people!

Having found a kingdom that loves me, I believe I will stay here. It beats that terrible mall! Bosses that fire me for hosting my own shows and eating all our food, superiors that remove me as manager for permanently borrowing phones. It was such madness! I believe I may stay here as their queen. I owe it to them. And myself. Their first order of business is to fix my chariot. I landed on it when I crashed down to this world. Even the solid-gold plating could not withstand the impact when it collided with the ground. Such hard ground. I should decree that all ground be softer. Yes, that is a good first goal. The people of Fynn will love me!

.......or else!

Toodles, everybody!

Dearie me! I was scooting through the mall toward the food court today and had my usual selection of food when I noticed a bomb following me! Balloon was its name. I told it "BE GONE!" but it refused. So I threw a precious hot dog at it! It gobbled it up and smiled at me, then grew in size. It didn't seem to even enjoy the hot dog, so that was the last time I'd throw my precious food at it!

I stayed and ate while the bomb just floated and watched. I started eating my fourth course (a pizza for those that do not know) when it looked at me and it seemed...shocked. I asked it what was the matter, and it replied in a monstrous noise and a puff of smoke from its mouth what sounded like "boom?"

I had no idea what the adorable little fellow meant, but I hoped it wasn't planning to explode before I had begun my fifth course (a cheeseburger, for those that do not know)! Then, suddenly, my piece of poo belt broke! Snapped in two! I'll never shop at Garment Grid again! They told me that THIS time would be different! THIS time it would not break! But nooooo!

I should be more precise about the two belts I wore. They did not have my petite size in stock, so they instead took two of their "puny" belts and latched them together. They were so fashionable! But now they are broken and I hate them!

When my belts broke, Balloon was very scared and he raced away, now following an adorable moogle in a mask. I do hope he returns someday. He was oh so cute.

Dearie me, a war has begun and I have no idea what's going on, but we're going to DOMINATE! I've hired my old generals and bounty hunters! Sure, most of them turned on me eventually, but that just proves to me how RUTHLESS they are!

Wars aside, it seems I am getting myself into oodles of trouble at Sphere Theater! Seymour has come at me with threats of my cancellation, or whatever harsh word he likes to use. My One-Woman show has been canceled, but no matter. I am meeting so many adorable boys! They come to the theater with their girlbling, which if you're un-hip to the term, means a girl who is nothing more than decoration because they're looking for somebody better and bluer, and I know they just want me, so I spray their popcorn with a bit of my perfume.

In an unrelated note, it seems all of our movies are so disgusting that all the cute boys are throwing up! If only my show were still the only feature in the theater, but noooo. One day, they will realize my brilliance!

Once again, that Seymour refuses to understand my need to approve the movies in this theater. But they're all such garbage! I was given the duty of putting the movies that are playing on the marquee, so I left only one: "Brahne: The One-Woman Show." It isn't an "official" movie, but I do have it playing on ten theaters for now! That is, until Seymour notices. He has no appreciation for the arts. Does he not even appreciate that I have raised ticket prices so much that we only need 1/20 customers to make the same profits now? I'm a genius! Genius! Now I don't have to work the concessions as much because so few people come to our theater!

NORG stopped by the theater today. When he left, Seymour was very very upset. I think it's because NORGy has the hots for a certain blue love cushion and is going to soon put her in charge of the theater! It is only a matter of time.

What a wonderful way to fix an otherwise terrible day!

Today, I went to my job at the Ringtone Store as normal. Then, that nasty (but sexy) NORG came into my store and told me that I could not continue to be the boss at the store! My first impulse was to call security and have is candy-ass ripped violently from my store! But when security arrived, they sided with him. Traitors!

I was unfit to be a boss because I unjustly fire people and degrade customers, but is that so wrong? I rule with an iron fist! Nobody gets out of line in Brahne's Ringy-Dingy House of Cell Phones! That might have been an issue as well. He did not like my unofficial renaming of the store and the banner I posted over the actual store's banner with my version of the name.

BOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! That NORG man makes me so sad!

But then! Oh my! The Arena! It will be hosting a fighting tournament! I LOVE to watch people fight! I am going to try my best to obtain a private balcony to watch the show! I only hope it is handicap accessible so that I may ride my Chariot to my seat. What IS my Chariot, you ask? Don't be shy, ask away, dearie! Why, my Chariot is a lovely mechanical seat that glides around the mall on wheels! It is gold-plated and has a plaque on the back that reads:

Queen Brahne's Chariot
HANDS OFF!

Do you know what the worst part of being fired is? I can no longer afford my beautiful house! It was so lovely, but now, I have nothing! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

If somebody would like a roommate, I would LOVE to split the rent! I have a few specific rules and needs, but you'll understand.

I now work at Sphere Theatre, which is an amazing establishment! I work concessions, but sometimes take it upon myself to monitor the movies. I like to make sure the movies are dramatic, romantic, sexy, and action-packed. So I am part concessions, part movie-proofer! Seymour complains about abandoning the concessions stand, but he will understand why I have made this adjustment when I get rid of those terrible movies that nobody wants to see. I am keeping our store dignified and he will thank me in the end!